Fake Quote Friday: Western Conference Finals, Eastern Hemisphere Summit Edition

“Who knows with that dude. He changes directions more than Chris Paul in the lane off a high screen and roll after a set play called during a timeout.” –Kim Jong Un

Haiku Thursday: “Memphis Cookout”

Memphis in May plus
Grizzlies in playoffs equals
Barbequed Curry…

Modern Seinfeld Monday: “The Perfect Bracket”

George dates a girl who’s given up alcohol for Lent. In a show of solidarity, he tells her he will give up caffeine. He really doesn’t, and she suspects he’s lying. But she can’t prove it. But what upsets him the most is not that she thinks he’s untruthful, it’s that she won’t stop telling everyone she stopped drinking for Lent.

George: It’s annoying, Jerry! Every time we go somewhere it’s, “sorry bartender, can you make me a mocktail? I gave up drinking for Lent.”
Jerry: Look at her observing a religious tradition. She ought to be ashamed of herself.
George: *to the waitress* Another cup of coffee over here! *to Jerry* And she doesn’t believe I gave up caffeine at all. She doesn’t say anything, but it’s how she looks at me when she orders her O’Douls.
Jerry: But you haven’t given up caffeine!
George: Yeah, but she doesn’t know that! As far as she’s concerned I’m my usual, perky energetic self with no help from anything except pure adrenaline and testosterone.
Jerry: Yeah, that’s what she thinks. By the way, why are you giving up anything for Lent? You’re not religious.
George: Oh no, I’m still Latvian Orthodox.
Jerry: You never converted back?
George: Never converted back!

After the first weekend of the NCAA tournament, Elaine has already won her office pool because her bracket is perfect. She’s successfully picked every game, and now, every gambler in New York City is calling her for advice.

Elaine: I don’t even know how they got my number! I just wrote down names on a sheet of paper!
Kramer: I gave out your number.
Elaine: You what?!
Kramer: That’s right. You’ve got a gift. And when you’ve got a gift, you share it or you’ll lose it.
Elaine: I’ve got a gift for you! It involves losing your life!

Sonnet Sunday: “Broken Brackets”

The swish of hoops, the squeak of swoosh, Nikes
Reeboks, ‘Didas, Armour, run down hardwood
An’ fly through air. Tourney dreams turn dream-like
State as kids storm courts and screams and hugs could
Be like speech—understood. But games must end
And losers named. Brackets busted upsets
Reign. Seasons over, college seniors send
Résumés—twenty-two—retir’ment met
Final quatrain of the season, epics
Played with steel-rimed goals, leather hopes, but now
Games nearly done, two teams left: set picks,
Defense, plays are run. Five month poem, how
Will it end? Blow out win that’s heaven sent?
Or a buzzer beater’s shining moment?

 Bracket Flames   Villanova Piccolo Player

Coach K, Cutting Down the Nets

Chris Paul: Insensitive But Not Sexist

“[T]his might not be for her.” –Chris Paul on Lauren Holtkamp’s technical fouls

If you re-watch the play Paul is referring to when Holtkamp gives him the tech, his story holds up. His comments weren’t tech-worthy. But he is wrong (but within his rights) to criticize the referring. He has a good point about the play, but his comments were wrong.

Now, were his comments sexist? Yes….And no. He probably doesn’t say this if it’s a guy. But he also doesn’t say it if Holtkamp is a veteran. It’s hard to watch the video and not think that his last sentence comes out the same way if she were a man, but blanketing the statement with “sexist” ignores the myriad shades of meaning through which we express complex and sometimes underdeveloped thoughts and feelings.

I don’t think Paul believes she’s a bad ref because she’s a woman. Nor do I think he believes women shouldn’t be able to compete for jobs traditionally off limits to them. The problem, of course, is that an insensitive mark could be the tip of an iceberg of hateful and destructive thoughts and feelings. But when evaluating whether or not that’s the case, we must contextualize what one says in a given moment, not just with what he or she says around that moment but what that person says throughout his or her life.

Paul doesn’t seem to have puddles of sexist comments leading up to that, so he deserves so he doesn’t deserve to be called anything more than a player who got upset and criticized a specific ref. He didn’t use profanity nor did he use derogatory language. This gives people who traffic in words and stories something to write about for the next couple of days; that’s all. Paul will get fined, but not because what he said was sexist. But because he criticized a ref–as it should be.