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Fox’s Game Chapter 7: Jimi Hendrix and the Polish Immigrant’s Beer

Lenox Village
Nolensville, Tn

Understandin’ understandin’
Lord that’s all in the world I need
Understandin’ and a little bit of lovin’ baby
That’s all in the world I need
Misunderstandin’ an’ I know get a woman
Yeah, Lord they both have caused my heart to bleed

 Jimi Hendrix’s bluesy guitar played in the background as Kristof Tulowitzki carefully placed two steamed hotdog buns onto his plate. He then carefully grabbed his mixing bowl full of fresh broiled lobster, mayo, celery, scallions, spices, and his secret ingredient–pan fried Polish sausage. Tulowitzki enjoyed cooking more than most people enjoyed eating, especially when done to a 60s soundtrack.

Tulowitzki neatly set the table in his dining room and poured a bottle of local beer in a custom glass. He sighed satisfactorily as he sipped, swirling it in his mouth with a flourish before swallowing.

The 59 year old Chemistry professor was a mass of contradictions. His love of beer revealed not so much a desire for its affects but his appreciation of its complexities. Like all chemists he saw science everywhere, and like many chemists he saw beauty and poetry, not simply mixtures and equations. He saw food and beer as practical examples of science in use.

“We take something we use for sustenance and make it pleasurable. Some of the tastiest, most creative foods in the world come from the poorest societies in the world. Why? Because we are all scientists. Some of us just understand it better than others.” Tulowitzki’s friends heard him say this often. So did his students. The flavor combinations that animal fat, plant leaves, ground up roots, and heat could create was every bit the marvel he saw whenever he settled under his microscope to study the movement of atoms.

And though he also had a passion for beer, his love of that drink came not through chemistry but through pride in his homeland of Poland. He grew up watching his father Marek come home from work and before he would say a word to anyone, his father would open the icebox, pour himself a stein of homemade beer, and ease into his chair. It was like after that first relished sip, his family would become visible. Tulowitzki associated beer with fun times and his father’s kindness. For him beer was a connection to his past.

* * * *

On March 28, 1968, Marek Tulowitzki moved his family from Warsaw, Poland to Philadelphia, PA. He was a code breaker for the Russians during World War II. After the Eastern Bloc was formed, he worked as a high level statistician at the Polish state department. He slowly accumulated secrets and realized that if he didn’t leave, he and his family would eventually be the target of the persecution and suspicion that permeated Communist Europe.

Kristof inherited his father’s penchant for math as well as his distrust of government institutions. A week after they arrived in the US, James Earl Ray shot Martin Luther King at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN. The 18 year old Polish student never forgot the violence and paranoia that would follow. And he never was able to fully disconnect what he’d experienced in his native country and what he witnessed in the first days in his new one.

Kristof became obsessed with the King assassination, trying to understand how something like this could happen in America. He followed the story, and his interest led to his fascination with US assassinations. He began to see that though the US was safer than Communist Poland, it certainly had its secrets. Tulowitzki spent his one and only year in American high school solving complex math problems and studying political conspiracies. The former shaped his future by ensuring him a scholarship to MIT, the latter shaped his worldview by showing him the possibility of the improbable.

Now a tenured professor, Tulowitzki spent his free time making the symmetry and logic he found through a microscope with his offbeat political theories. He loved discussing them, and although he articulated himself clearly, his Polish accent often made his ideas seem like the ramblings of a crank. Tulowtizki’s tall, thin frame and gray hair made him look authoritative. And his stern demeanor belied his gregarious personality. He loved to talk. And people often mistook his intensity for anger.

The chemist rinsed his dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. He then glanced at an unopened envelope on his kitchen table. His lips curved into a smile. “Fresh grilled Polish sausages and locally brewed beer, huh? This Dr. Benjamin Hoek must really want me to come.” He sat down the paper and wondered if this new research committee had anything to do with the Chemistry and Cooking course that he’d proposed for next spring’s semester.

Fox’s Game Chapter 5

An Economist Goes Discount Dress Shopping

Alyssa Morell drove slowly behind the young man walking in front of her. His crisp white shirt and black pinstripe pants indicated that he had money. He was too good looking and too confident not to be a player. The care-free way he spoke on his phone indicated He was neither worried about time nor aware of her presence. The lights in his white convertible BMW flashed as he shifted the bags in his hands. It was at this moment he noticed her. He looked into the windshield of her Camry and saw an attractive woman. He smiled and tried to wave, juggling the items in his hands. She smiled but did not wave. She wanted his parking spot, not his phone number.

As a woman in the field of Advanced Analytics, she was used to commanding attention with her confidence and intensity. She was also attractive, which helped, but she was well aware that relying on beauty when trying to gain respect hurt more than helped.

As an undergrad at the University of Maryland, she understood that if she wanted to compete in a field dominated by men that she would have to be as aggressive in the classroom as she was on the soccer field. Her tenacity earned her a scholarship. And she knew that the traits developed on the field were transferrable to her future career. She’d maintained the smooth movements and lithe frame of her sports days. But she knew her looks would only be an advantage if she could demonstrate her intelligence. One way she knew to do this was to infuse her writing and conversations with an apt quote, a relatable anecdote, or little known fact that could illustrate the point she was making.

Morell wanted to reflect technical expertise and polymathic learning. Her beauty and personality disarmed people, her intelligence kept them off balance. For instance, she would quote from King Lear “Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy laws / My services are bound” during a discussion on the Bayesian worldview. She enjoyed even more watching a surprised colleague nod solemnly in hopes of seeming like he was aware of the Shakespearean line.

Her dark brown hair that went just below her shoulders and well-toned frame complimented her business casual fashion sense. Her pencil skirts, high heels, and well-pressed shirts drew the attention of males invested in their libidos. As one colleague said, “It’s not that we think we have a shot with her or even want to. It’s just good to have someone nice to look at.” Many female colleagues viewed her with a begrudging ambivalence. It seemed unfair that a woman could have good looks, social adaptability, and be able to achieve success in a man’s world. She represented that which was good about the 21st century woman. But it was too easy to think, “why her and not me.”

Morell enjoyed shopping because it was economics at its most obvious level. The mall added an extra level of interest because, unlike grocery shopping, you dealt exclusively with luxury items. Yes, shoes and clothes were necessary, but when you went to the mall to get things, you were shopping for more than just necessities. Even when you went for value, it was a value relative to your class standards, not the type of value that the truly poor must consider.

As she walked through Green Hills Mall—the mall centered in the area of Nashville that melded old money and new—she couldn’t help but think about how financial economics was an odd art that blended the certitude of numbers with the unpredictable psychology of humans. For example, she new that she didn’t need a new outfit for this faculty party she was invited to, but she felt compelled to get one. The confidence she would have wearing something she’d just bought was worth paying for. And if that confidence could help make a stronger impression, then what she bought was a valuable investment. But how much worth does that investment have?

After a quick walk through at Express, she decided that if she were buying something special for a specific event, she should invest more. She could get a new outfit there for $30. But she felt she needed to pay more. She walked past Juicy Couture without even glancing towards it because a new outfit would cost $300 on sale. That was too much. She knew she needed something between $30 and $300. The difference, that middle ground, reflected consumer surplus. Her goal was to get as close to $30 as possible while trying to find an outfit that they could have sold for $300. The clothing stores wanted the inverse, to get her as close as possible to $300 for something they could have sold for $30.

This type of cost-value analysis applied to many situations, from dating to drafting a football team. Most of her friends enjoyed the chess match of maximizing profits while minimizing labor. This is what frustrated her about her field of study. So many women found interest in the theoretical aspects of economics, especially when it came to spending money. But men overwhelmingly dominated the field. She knew this stemmed from an antiquated notion that women couldn’t do math. Obviously, some men also shied away from economics for the same reason. But the point was that the building blocks shouldn’t scare you away from the actual building. For instance, learning to read is hard, but once you learn, the work is worth it.

Morell shook those thoughts from her mind in order to focus on the economics at hand. She walked into Ann Taylor Loft not knowing what she was looking for but conscious she’d know it when she found it. She perused the sale items noting they reflected an excess of supply and that companies lowered the prices in order to avoid a complete profit loss. It was the closest a consumer could get to taking advantage of the companies.

Even with a sale Ann Taylor Loft made profits many times the cost of the clothing sold. Morell spotted a black skirt-white blouse out. She recognized it from the spring catalogue and noticed there was no price tag. She shrugged, walked to the changing rooms, and tried it on. Morell liked the color black because of its simplicity. The higher up you go, the less you needed to say. But she knew a powerful woman dresses her pay. A man could wear a Hawaiian shirt to a business meeting. A woman could not.

The girl working the register rang it up as $140. Morell blinked in disbelief, “Excuse me, there must be some sort of mistake. This item’s on sale, right?”

“No ma’am. It’s $140, full price. Now, will you be paying with cash or a card?”

Morell’s eyes narrowed. She examined the girl, a blonde close to her in size but whose frame, Morell figured, was due more from genetics than Division I college sports.

“What size do you wear?” Morell demanded.

“I’m sorry?” the worker said.

“Your size. Are you size 4 like me? About 115 pounds?”

“I…Yes…No…It depends. Why do you even care?”

“You said this outfit was full price. But all the other items I saw in the spring catalogue were in the front of the store on the sales rack. If this skirt and shirt combo were so popular that it were still full price, you would have more than one in this size. Your boss–I’d like his or her name by the way—would have them overstocked like the rest of the outfits in that area of the store.

Large, successful companies are in the business of overestimating demand, not underestimating it. The profit in selling the outfit is so much greater than the cost to make it, it only makes sense to order too much than not enough, especially for a place like. If it were popular enough to re-order, it’d be popular enough to over-order. My guess is that you wanted the outfit for yourself.

Maybe someone returned this earlier today. Anyway, you saw it on the sales rack, which means once you used your employee discount, you would be buying it for less than a quarter for what it was worth. Because of that, your manager–I’m still waiting for you to give me that name by the way—probably didn’t want you reserving it for yourself. If that outfit made it to the end of the day, it was yours. But you had a feeling it wouldn’t. So you decided to hide it and ‘punish’ anyone who bought it by making them pay full price. C’mon. Am I right or am I right?”

The girl stared at Morell as if the professor had just juggled fire.

“L-l-l-ook,” she stammered. “I…uh…am sorry. Let’s not make a big deal of this.”

Her hands shook as she scanned the tag and $70 appeared on the register. The girl typed for a few moments and then $45 appeared. “Wow…ha…bigger sale than you thought, right? Forty-five dollars.”

Morell saw the girl couldn’t be older than 20. And something about her nervousness and disappointment reminded the professor of her struggling undergrads, “Look, you don’t have to do that. I just–”

“I know. I want to. I don’t know who you are. But that was amazing. My name’s Jessie. How’d you do that?”

“I’ve got a PhD in Economics. That’s the study of how everything flows: money, information, ideas, everything. It’s a good field of study. Lots of jobs, lots of opportunities. There’s some math, but nothing you can’t handle if you work at it. You should think about it. We could use more women.”

“I don’t know…School…I don’t really…”

“My name’s Alyssa Morell. Here’s my card. Think about it. If you change your mind, we can talk.”

Jessie nodded slowly as she read it. Morell checked her watch. “Look, Jessie I gotta go. Thanks for the discount. Hopefully, I’ll see you later.”

Morell exited the store and got in her car. She sighed as she realized the irony of wanting to buy an outfit to increase her confidence when it was her confidence that saved her over $100.

Modern Seinfeld Monday: The Grammys Party

Jerry becomes the latest comic caught in the #metoo movement after he does a show at a club with a green room so small he thinks it’s a bathroom. A female comic walks in on him changing and accuses him of inappropriate behavior.

Kramer’s Ancestry.com shows that he has more Jewish DNA than he thought. He decides to study to become a rabbi…until the Newman gets him reservations to the hottest seafood restaurant in New York.

Elaine gets invited to a Grammys party by a producer for Bruno Mars. When she arrives she realizes that its a Grammys viewing party and that the producer works for Brüno Martz, the hottest young musician in Yugoslavia.

The new barista at George’s favorite coffee shop likes to talk football and looks a lot like fired NY Giants coach Ben McAdoo. George keeps trying to find out his last name, which gets him banned from the shop. Guest appearance by Eli Manning.

 

Modern Seinfeld Monday: The BBW

Someone anonymously pays for George’s meal. And instead of feeling grateful, it send him into a tailspin.

George: This is no good.
Jerry: Someone paid for your meal. Your whole life is centered around getting others to pay for your meals.
George: You don’t understand. I don’t know the unwritten rules of doing good.
Jerry: Well, that will come with experience.
George: Well do I still have to tip? And if I don’t, how does that make me look to the server? She knows I was planning on paying something.
Jerry: Ah, I see your point. This is interesting.
George: Is there a statue of limitations on “paying it forward?” Can I wait till next week? Six months? I’m at a loss, Jerry!
Jerry: For once, your stinginess has led to a legitimate intellectual breakthrough.
George: Thank you.
Jerry: That wasn’t a compliment.

Elaine is upset that Puddy is refusing her advances now that football has started back.

Elaine: Did you just move my hand?
Puddy: No, I was just…Yes, I was moving your hand. I don’t like to be touched during the game.
Elaine: What if I touch you he–
Puddy: Nowhere! I’ve waited months to watch the Giants.
Elaine: I can make you wait too, ya know?
Puddy: Not like the NFL does.
Elaine: That’s it! See you after the Super Bowl.

Kramer makes a new friend in the apartment complex. He’s been steadily escalating the relationship. From acquaintance, to friend, to good friend, to BFF, to boyfriend. Unfortunately, he sends a text where he confuses BFF with BBW, which messes up the whole situation.

Modern Seinfeld Monday: “The Lemonade Stand”

Kramer dates a girl named Ashley Madison.

Lloyd Braun gets a job working on Donald Trump’s campaign and uses George’s likeness for an ad about what’s wrong with America.

Elaine buys a pair of dress pants that everyone mistakes for yoga pants.

Elaine: Yoga pants are not dress pants. Everyone knows that! I’m not basic.
Jerry: You mean ratchet.
Elaine: Ratchet means basic.
Jerry: You sure? That doesn’t sound right.
Elaine: I’m pretty sure those terms are interchangeable.
Jerry: I’m pretty sure you’re wearing yoga pants.

Jerry opens up a lemonade stand for charity. He makes a joke with a cop about how “people who like pink lemonade” make him “sick.” The cop thinks he’s serious, takes it personally, and makes Jerry shut down the stand.

Modern Seinfeld Monday: “The Mother’s Day Brunch”

Elaine receives a Mother’s Day card from a coworker because the outfits she’s been wearing make her look pregnant.

Elaine: Can you believe this? Someone got me a card. What do you think of this outfit? Does it look like I’m expecting?
Jerry: Uh…I’m sorry what?
Elaine: This outfit. Does it make me look pregnant?
Jerry: Um…Kramer, get in here! I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
(Kramer Enters)
Elaine: Kramer, does this make me look pregnant?
(Jerry motions for him to say no, but he doesn’t see)
Kramer: Definitely. If I didn’t know any better, I’d wish you Happy Mother’s Day.

George takes his mom out on a Mother’s Day brunch after staying up too late Saturday night. He looks tired and he’s poorly dressed, making him look older than he actually is. Several people mistake them for a couple, which is more than George can bear.

George: Well Jerry, that’s it! I’m out the game!
Jerry: Why? What happened?
George: They thought I was my father. At the brunch, people thought my mom & I were together.
Jerry: You and Estelle Costanza?
George: That’s right, Jerry. There’s no hope.
Jerry: There’s always hope for you, George.
George: Do you really believe that?
Jerry: No.George & Estelle

Modern Seinfeld Monday: “The Boxing Match”

Jerry is asked to replace Chris Rock at a Vegas show. He’s excited for the opportunity, until he realizes his set is during the same time as the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. George & Kramer promise to come to his show & skip the fight, but they both stand him up.

George gets hot at a blackjack table and decides to let it ride. He does so well that they believe he’s counting cards, so casino security “has a little talk” with him in one of the back rooms.

Kramer wins a hotel raffle for fight tickets, so he ditches Jerry’s show. As a joke, he decides to put on a Burger King king suit that he finds near an elevator. He’s escorted to Mayweather’s locker room where he walks to the ring with Beiber & the rest of the Money Team.

Elaine decides to have a girls only weekend at Jerry’s apartment. She spills an expensive pinot noir on his couch cushion. So what does she do? Flips it over to hide the stain.

Burger King George Costanza Julia Louis Dreyfus Wine